Ok, so I absolutely cannot stand that song. However, HELLO!!!!!

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. It feels that way to me. I've been so consumed lately with my new business, that I have no time for anything else it seems like at the moment. All day, all night... I'm a working mess trying to do everything I can to keep up. I feel like I'm falling behind in a lot of other things.

You know what's hard? To have a balance. Yup, finding a balance in everything we have going on. It's not easy I tell ya. Not at all. I find myself on nights I can actually lay down, up on the computer because my brain won't shut off working mode. When I can sleep, I find myself having dreams about working and my business...it's consuming my life!

That's not a bad thing. I just wish there were more hours during the day for everything. Because of everything going on, we decided that we would try out Time4Learning for school this week and see how that goes. I thought I would be happier with my daughter being a more independent learner.

Today was day two and I found out I am not comfortable with my daughter being an independent learner. As much as I need her to be for every reason right now, I need to be her teacher, not the program. I just feel I know exactly what she is learning and we are set on track with our lessons and I think this is stressing me out jumping in the middle of the year with all new stuff. It makes me feel I'm wasting money on all the curriculum I bought that we were using. That we need to just finish with what we have because it does work for us.

The only reason I needed her to be more independent with learning is because my younger ones require so much attention. School was so stressful for all of us with me having to be everywhere at once for everyone and how demanding the little ones are for me, which I love that they are... but still. It's hard to focus on school when another is screaming for me.

I don't know. I'm trapped in the middle on this. 85% of me just says STOP and go back to our old way because we had a system. But that last little bit says it will work out and be helpful and work out. I have no idea... ugh I'm just stressed and confused. I just see her sitting there reading the stuff on the screen and not absorbing it nor understanding it. I wish it read it more to her. She learns much better when she hears it rather than reading it. If that ,makes any sense. But with Time4Learning, she is just reading it and then telling me she doesn't get it. Where when I was sitting with every lesson with her, I read it all and had her read a little and we talked about it. Or I would stop and ask if she's understanding what they are saying.

She's a very bright girl. In many subjects, she is ahead a grade or two. But for some reason, she's not good at being an independent learner and I don't know if this program that I heard praises about is going to be the right fit for us now as much as I need and want it to be.

If anyone else has used this, does it get better? Is it workable for a busy mom to not have to sit with her child and they still understand everything? Or is this program not what I hoped for? I feel I'm ranting on but I just feel so stressed out on what to do.