The title pretty much sums up this blog post or should I say more of a rant post? Yes, I decided to write this post tonight rather than yesterday. I think if I would have written this yesterday, there would have been waaayyy more cussing and screaming involved. But since I'm a bit calmer and have had time to chill a bit, it's not going to be so vulgar. Sorry to disappoint those who were looking forward to that LOL. However, it's still going to be a lot of bitching and complaining.
I think Salt N' Pepa said it best with their song:
Ok, so you are probably wondering why I seem so pissy. Well, it's because it has been brought to my attention someone decided to pretend they were in Elementary school again and play the "tattle-tale" game. And it's not even that. They just seemed to spill out a can of beans that they had no business spilling. You get me here?
I have posted about how ever since we moved from Florida to the state where my parents live, things haven't been the same or easy. I used to be really close with my parents. But since moving back to my hometown, it has been rough and difficult. Mainly my dad has made it that way.
I have been trying hard to make things right or just not so heart-breaking every time I try to see them or talk to them. My dad seems to be very mean and outspoken even when there is nothing to be mean about. He just has a big ego power trip. Maybe it's an Army thing, who knows. But he has been extremely rude to me and it has left me in tears most days I have tried to talk to them. So I stayed away for a bit. I couldn't take the stress anymore.
Slowly, things have been working out better between my parents and I and I'm trying to get our relationship back to where it used to be. It's just very hard. And because of that, there have been things I have not been able to speak to them about that I normally would.
The main thing was this pregnancy. I have opened up and shared on my blog that we are expecting baby number three and not too long from now, we will be welcoming that child into our hearts. However, I have also asked several times and made very clear that this was a sensitive subject for me and that while I am opening up and sharing on my blog, the friends I have on my personal Facebook page, I asked that nothing really be said or mentioned about it because I still have not been able to open up to my family about this.
I wanted to tell my mom for a long time now. I could never get the words right or find the right time with all the tension that has been going on between me and them. So until I was comfortable in letting them know, I just asked that if you were a friend on Facebook, please just either send me a private message to talk about it or email me. I would just prefer it that way.
Plus, I do not think it is a big deal that I have not wanted to share this information on Facebook anyway. Why should I? What did people do before Facebook? I don't need to post every life moment, situation, or thought on there. Don't get me wrong, there are some days I have posted a few things. But sometimes, there are certain people that you need to not share everything with so that is why I left it off my personal page.
If you asked me, I would tell you. But I didn't want to announce it there. I did have one person get pissed at me for not wanting to share my business on Facebook. But why? Why does it matter and why get mad? Who cares right? Some things are meant to stay where they are. I only chose to share on my blog and that was MY choice.
So anyway, let me jump to what is bothering me so much. So I received a phone call last night from my mom asking me when I was going to let her know. I was just kind of frozen. I knew what she was talking about yet I didn't even know how to speak.
She said she heard it from someone who had informed my entire family about my news that I was pregnant.
Now this was my first initial thought and reaction:
Then it was:
Then it was that this person needed to:
I was very unhappy. I asked how did they know? And most importantly, what gave them the right to think it was ok to go and tell my entire family and my mom as well? That is NOT ok. First of all, maybe they should have asked ME if it were true or not. And secondly, maybe they should have taken into consideration that if I haven't been talking about it on Facebook, there was a reason or that I didn't want people to know who are on there.
When she told me who it was, I was shocked honestly. This person is older and talks about how she hates people telling her business. So I'm still confused why she first didn't ask me before telling everyone else first and seeing if it was ok to say something. Maybe I am just over reacting because of all these freakin pregnancy hormones. But I would never just do that to someone. I would first ask them about it. I would never just go blabbing my mouth around.
My mom told me not to be mad at her but I am furious!
When she told me who it was, I was shocked honestly. This person is older and talks about how she hates people telling her business. So I'm still confused why she first didn't ask me before telling everyone else first and seeing if it was ok to say something. Maybe I am just over reacting because of all these freakin pregnancy hormones. But I would never just do that to someone. I would first ask them about it. I would never just go blabbing my mouth around.
My mom told me not to be mad at her but I am furious!
And plus, what affect does it have one them? Why is it sooo important that they felt it was their business to go share. Even if my family had known, why would you just go and do that? Maybe some people think it's ok but I sure don't. I wouldn't do that to someone. Seems like something you would do in 5th grade. Not being a grown up.
So I had finally had to tell my mom that yes, we are expecting and that I really wanted to say something but it just has never felt like the right time or place to. I wanted it to be happy news and it seemed like anything right now is horrible news. But I started to cry because I was so upset that someone went behind my back and did that. Just because I shared it on my blog, still didn't give anyone the right to inform my entire family about it. My mom said there were some rather rude comments too so I knew it wasn't done as a "mistake"... seems more of a malicious thing.
But what is done is done and I can't take it back. I just hope that this person realizes that I am not happy about it and I still wish I knew why they thought it was their duty to tell the world my news. Well, it's not the world but to me it feels that way. I chose who I wanted to share it with. I chose some close friends and my blogging readers. And everyone knew I wasn't ready yet to tell my family and this was helping me prepare by sharing and talking about it here.
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Meet Clifton, Lisa, Owen, and Wyatt. The Joneses Blog follows the adventures of the Joneses family, two twentysomethings with two baby boys in Oklahoma City
Meet Clifton, Lisa, Owen, and Wyatt. The Joneses Blog follows the adventures of the Joneses family, two twentysomethings with two baby boys in Oklahoma City
I tried to read this on my phone but it was being weird so I knew I HAD to go grab the laptop to read it. I'm sorry someone was an ass and did this to you. People are so rude and entitled these days, it's ridiculous. The year before I got pregnant with Buck I had miscarried so when I finally got pregnant again I was nervous to tell people but someone in hubby's family decided to tell the WHOLE family. Ugh, I was pissed.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have had a similar situation. I don't understand why people do these things. But yes, why would you even feel good about yourself doing something like this, you know? I swear, some people
DeleteFacebook. Don't we all have a love-hate relationship with it?
ReplyDeleteJust because SOME people just don't know the right and POLITE way to use it...
Keep your head up!
xoxo
Anni
I just don't get it cause I have never said anything on Facebook nor has anyone else so I don't know how they would even say they saw it on Facebook when there is no mention of it anyway. I have never discussed anything on my personal facebook page about it except through a private message to very few people. And it was none of those people I talked to who told. I know who told and it makes me very upset
DeleteYou have every right to be upset and angry.
DeleteTry to keep your head up!
Aww girl I'm sorry that someone was being so mean-spirited. I'm sure you had your reasons for keeping your pregnancy from your family and it's sad that someone decided to take the news into their own hands when they had no right to. All I can say is that I'm sorry this happened to you. PS--I can assure that your father's attitude sounds worse than just 'an Army thing'
ReplyDeleteMy parents never wanted grandchildren. So every time I have told them my husband and I are pregnant, they just tell me how stupid I am. I basically feel as though I'm a 14 year old telling her parents she's pregnant and I'm over 30. So I always disappoint them with the news of a new baby. And they are very firm believers of no more than two children so I didn't want to start another fight about us having a third child.
DeleteIt seems that the older generation of Army people are mean. At least to me. All my family or our family friends who are my dad's age that were in the Army, are just like crazy LOL I guess that is a nice way of putting it
Well that's just plain wrong--babies are the best and I can't wait for your new honey bunches to arrive. I would totally give this tattle tale person a piece of my mind (and your dad and his bunch too because they sound like real ******)!!!
DeleteDamn so sorry to hear that it played out that way. I would be madd as hell too if someone told them and not me. Well girl i hope it all works out and things look up from here on out.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Lisa
Thank you. I had a long talk with my mom about it. I just know she is always so disappointed in me when I announce another baby on the way. And I didn't want the negativity anymore. Thats why I held back for so long. I couldn't find myself to get mentally prepared to deal with all that....again
DeletePeople need to learn to mind their own business. That's one of the issues with the internet, if you post anything anywhere someone is bound to gossip about it. I swear if I take a shit my parents know about it before I wipe. I hope you are able to find out who took it upon themselves to tell your parents about a v ery personal matter without consulting you, and what their issue is.
ReplyDeleteOh she told me exactly who it was. And I'm pissed because this person says all the time how people need to mind their own business and just worry about themselves. Plus, they are older than me too which makes it worse. Anyone else has asked me saying "I noticed you never talk about this on Facebook. Is it ok to say something?" And I explain why I haven't. So I have no idea why you wouldn't ask someone first especially if I have never mentioned it on my personal Facebook page, I guess I just have manners and they don't. My mom ask I not be mad at them but how could I not? I'm pissed! So for right now, I'm ignoring them. And the funny thing is, I still don't see how since they are only on the internet like once a year anyway. So whatever to them... just very hurt by what they did
DeleteThat is awful. Some people just have nastiness inside and feel the need to share it with the world. :(
ReplyDeleteI hate that this happened to you, I remember you asking everyone to just talk about it on your blogging facebook and not your personal one. Which I felt you had every right to ask that. Its your business when you decide to tell your family. We all have different things we are dealing with and that person had no right at all to do that! I would be furious..... some people will do anything to have drama, they thrive on it. I hope everything with your parents works out <3
ReplyDeleteFunny, well not funny, more annoying than anything, I was about to say that it was possibly a mistake but it seems like it wasn't. It's very upsetting and I'm sorry that this happened Rebecca, I don't think that you need to be stressing or be crying or upset when you're pregnant, if anything you deserve the exact opposite. It's so unfortunate but when something as big as a pregnancy is going on people blab and it was going to be a matter of time until some idiot did, I'd be angry at this woman if I was you Rebecca, completely understand your fury.
ReplyDeletePeople just don't know how to respect other people's wishes now days. SMH. Sorry your family wasn't able to find out about your pregnancy from you and when you felt comfortable telling them.
ReplyDelete