When People Hate The Surprise - xoxo Rebecca

When People Hate The Surprise

surpriseThe title is a bit crazy, huh? What surprise? Well, I'm talking about the surprise of the baby. I have been dealing with questions and comments for over a year now that I honestly never thought was such a big deal. But apparently, it is a SUPER big deal to some. And by some...it feels like majority.

I didn’t know that people got so offended because YOU don’t want to to know the gender of your baby. I still don’t understand that. Ever since our pregnancy last year where we decided not to know the baby’s gender until we wanted to know {at the end of the pregnancy at our gender reveal party}, people have just made some rude comments about it.

I’ve been told it’s selfish of me for not wanting to let other’s know and it’s not fair. That I should just let them find out and they won’t tell me…..I’ve heard it all. I don’t know how it can be selfish that I don’t even know the gender of my child. But I was told that by a friend. I was told that how could they possibly buy things for me if they don’t know the gender. I plainly told them, I only register for gender neutral attire and things anyway. I love gender neutral items and it’s all I want.

Apparently, that’s not good enough for some people. Why? I just don’t get it…what does having to know the gender of my baby change? To me, it changes nothing. So that is why I choose not to know. Nothing changes on my thoughts or feelings. I choose both a boy’s and a girl’s name, I have gender neutral items so no worries there. I just don’t get what will change if I knew or not. Seriously! What is the big deal? When they were pregnant, they chose to find out and that is fine. But it’s all of a sudden the end of the world if I don’t want to know.

Now that we are halfway through this pregnancy, I still choose not to know the baby’s gender {until the end when I have my reveal party} and yet, it still bothers people that I won’t find out. I honestly, don’t know what the big deal is to know. I have had no desire to know what I am having and therefore, makes it so much easier not thinking about it. I like the surprise…what can I say? Why is that so wrong to want to have a surprise? Why are people so bothered by my decision? I just don’t get why you would say mean things to someone who just doesn’t want to find out. Is it really that necessary? It’s not going to change the way I feel about you and that I will want to now just find out just because you want to know. Sorry!
I know some people that find out and do not tell anyone. They only know and that’s what they want. I know some people who find out as early as they can and have to shout it out to the world. Believe me, once I know, I would love to yell it for everyone to know. And there are some people who choose not to know until the actual birth. Why is it so wrong to want to have an option? Not everyone has been mean to me about it. Some people {few, but still there are some} who think it’s great that we don’t find out right away. But I’ve been bombarded for over a year now with hits from friends about not knowing. Shouldn't a friend be a bit nicer?

So that is my rant. It’s something that has been bothering me for a while now and it keeps building up and coming up the father along I get into my pregnancy. I know back in the day, you had no way of finding out so no one could say “How dare you not find out and be selfish!” But in today’s society with the 4D ultrasounds {which I have never had through all three of my pregnancies but I would have liked to}, finding out the sex as early as possible is just what everyone assumes you have to find out.

I have disappointed too many people and I guess I will continue to. It’s my decision.

So, what are your thoughts on not finding out or finding out the gender? Have you been in my situation where you decided not to and got so much crap from friends about not wanting to know? I would love to hear how your dealt with it or your thoughts.