Oh guys, how I have gone from loving social media and the internet, to not being able to be on it at all. Or very very rarely. It's actually kind of nice but I really do miss blogging. Once we are all set up in our new place, it will be like it used to be. Living with my folks has just become really really horrible. I know I wrote about it before, but things have just gone from horrible to unbearable.
Tonight was another night of him cussing me out for something. He has to find something everyday to cuss me out about and then kick me out. So my husband finally found a job where he is making enough for us to move out on our own. We just got to get the money up and then we are going to be out of here. And we are shooting for the end of July. Would be amazing if it could be before.
Because once we leave, I promise you, I will never talk to that man again and I cry thinking about that because I thought I had a decent relationship with my parents. But thinking about it, my dad has always hated me because I was a girl. He has always hated women and felt they are the scum of the earth. I'm sure since the day I was born, I have always been his biggest regret and disappointment, no matter how hard I've done to be successful, in his eyes, I have been trash.
I get so sad when I hear of my friends talking about how they are daddy's girl and their dad is their hero. Because my dad thinks I'm the worst thing in his life. Looking back on everything in my life, I see now why he treated me the way he did. He just thinks I'm worthless. Sorry if this is not making the most sense and not having good punctuation. I'm actually crying right now and just letting things ramble from my head.
My mom tries so hard to be a good mom to me. My dad is so controlling, he makes her a prisoner. Sometimes, he won't even let her speak to me. I wish now she would just leave him. I never thought I would ever thought I would ever be able to function if my parents broke up. But now, I wish my mom would leave him and run away with us.
Oh boy... anyway...................
I have a lot of things I want to share on my blog but I'm going to wait until you guys get to see the new "xoxo Rebecca" ...
My great friend Rekita {who blogs over at Her & Nicole} is revamping my blog in a big way. It needs it too. My sidebars aren't working anymore and I'm just kind of fed up and in a rut. Maybe this new makeover will really get it to where it feels special and whole again. Then I can start sharing all the news and stories I want to. But I am waiting to do that.
So at our local library, they are having a thing going on this summer for the kids where you can color a gnome and take a photo of it doing something fun or exciting this summer and then submit it to them and they will display it in the library. So my daughter decided to color her gnome all crazy and this is where her summer adventures took her:
 |
| The gnome hanging out at Barbie's house with her friends for a party!
So yes, it hasn't been easy to blog. And I can't wait to feel free again to do so. I miss you all so greatly and miss reading everyone's blogs that I adored so much. I will come back. I promise.
|
{Check Out This Month's Featured Blogger}
I miss you being on Twitter as often as you were but I understand things are so hectic in life right now, let's hope that things can improve and get better!
ReplyDeleteYour dad reminds me of mine in a sense, he's a horrible man who I can't understand why my mum has stuck by him for 30 years, possibly it's even been because she knows nothing else. It's not an issue with you thought Rebecca, it's an issue with him. I wish that he'd never offered to let you guys live with him and your mum in the first place because he has treated you like dirt non stop and it's just not on. Really hope that you guys can get out as soon as possible, best of luck with the move!
I am so sorry that things are getting worst with your dad. Trust me you are not alone. On a positive note, I am glad to hear that your husband has found a job! Hang in there because it won't be long before you all are in your own place.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to hear updates about the kiddies!
I know how you feel about your dad. I've had a string of absent or abusive father figures growing up. I hope you are able to move out asap!!
ReplyDelete