I have to say, this was a long time coming. I tend to brush things off that bother me and just let them go away on their own. But it seemed it finally was time that enough was enough. Family and Facebook just do not mix. I know many of you would probably agree. And there might be some that don't. But I'm not personally referring to my parents. No.... I do have my father on my account {which he only created the account to view some photos so he is never on there or ever has done anything with it}. And my mom doesn't even know how to turn on a computer so she doesn't have one.
I'm more referring to extended family. I always thought my family was cool. Cousins, uncles, aunts, etc....growing up seemed to be this really big fun family event. But seems like now that we are all grown, things changed. And Facebook came into the picture. At first I thought it would be great to add all my family because I thought we were cool like that. I had some good conversations with my cousins and just fun and interesting seeing what they are up to since we all live so far away from each other.
However, I guess I seemed wrong. Apparently it has gotten to the point where I'm now "trash" because I am pregnant. And yes, even though I am married, I'm not considered anything above dirt because I do not own my own home. Because we rent our place, I should not be having a child. I don't know about where you live, but around these parts, renting is double to triple the cost of owning a home in the monthly payments. So why are we renting then if it's so expensive? Because since my husband has been looking for jobs out of the state, we are not going to up and buy a house only to find out he gets a job and then we have to move. What would be the point in that? So we just rent. Plus, I'm such a person who has to have change. I cannot stand to live int he same place for more then a year. So we move every year to every two years. We have never stayed in a place for more then two years. We just really love the change. Owning a home, well you can't do that. You have to stay. So until we find something we would want to stay in forever, I am not about to dish out the money to buy a house.
Apparently this doesn't fly with more of my relatives who are snooty like that. So they have been trash talking me about it. of course, not to my face...I hear it from around. And so what? Good for them that they own a home. Bravo!
I am married, I have a steady, decent job, a happy child.....and we wanted another baby. Its not like we "can't afford" it. Yes, money is tight for everyone now-a-days but they seem to act as though I'm 12 years old and in middle school having a baby. I don't understand why my business about where I live has anything to do with their business. Enough to bring me up in conversation and call me trash basically.
So enough was enough. A few people told me to just delete them. Since there had been a few that always had something to comment on whenever I would post. And most of the time it would be negative stuff too. Or just seemed like the fake-nice sayings. And I just got totally sick of it and they needed to go. Even the ones that really weren't a part of drama. I just said to hell with it and deleted them all. I only kept three family members of that side that I do feel close with and communicate with. The others can suck it.
And one of my cousins I did tell me to not do it. Do not delete them because it will just stir up more drama. But I don't care anymore. I'm tired of feeling hurt and ignored or that they are posting things that are about me that undertone too much. Or just posting stupid stuff about things I do, say, or share on my page. It's like they just feed off being all into your business and nosy at that. And plus, I live so far away... what would they possibly be able to do? It's not like I might run into them at the store or at a family event.
So yes, family and Facebook just do not mix for me anymore. I'm done with that mess and finally just deleted the negativity. And you know what? It felt like a sigh of relief. I don't' need anyone in my business that doesn't care enough about me to want anything positive for me. And if they are too good for me, so be it. I don't need to be good enough for anyone like that anyway.
So yes, that is my rant. I just needed to rant some.
Going back now re-reading some things, I see I was writing not only while a bit angry but also tired so forgive the weird and bad grammar too
So yes, that is my rant. I just needed to rant some.
Going back now re-reading some things, I see I was writing not only while a bit angry but also tired so forgive the weird and bad grammar too
I've denied so many of my extended family because I knew it'd be nothing but drama from them.
ReplyDeleteI hid my FIL from my newsfeed and straight up denied my MIL's request.
People like that just need stuff to talk about. I'm sorry that happened. Trust me, I have family like that too. It's easier to just delete them and move on. Let them talk all they want. Nothing you do will really stop them so eh. Your life, not theirs. Live it how you want :)
I have no idea how anybody especially family could be so damn condescending, I mean you're not some kind of trashy 17 year old who just recently got pregnant with a man she's only known for five minutes, to make those assumptions and say those things is ridiculous, honestly I agree with you, family and Facebook shouldn't mix, I wouldn't give this instance a second particular thought though.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for freeing yourself of their drama! I know people say blood should be thicker than water but that's not always the case. Sadly, it's your family who will often put you down and turn on you first.
ReplyDeleteI haven't and won't add certain family members to my Facebook or Twitter pages either. It's just not worth the headache. Maybe, they will wake up and smell the coffee one day.
Congrats on the new addition to the family. Babies are so wonderful.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, cutting out stressers is always good, but especially while you're pregnant! I've had my own rant posts about Facebook. I swear, people think they can just say whatever they want on there. It's like the filter for what people say to your face is turned off on Facebook. I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteGirl I feel your pain. I was married when I got pregnant too (and had been for 3 years), but at 25 I was "too young" and "not stable enough" by my extended family. And the whole Facebook thing...my uncle constantly is telling my dad stuff I posted on Facebook trying to start drama. I amounted it to uneducated pettiness.
ReplyDeleteAnywho, I found you on the blog hop and am now your newest follower! I'm glad you are standing up for what you want. Sometimes that is all we can do.
If you get a chance, check out my blog.
Sarah @ Our Family of Three
woodsfamilyofthree.blogspot.com
So sorry that your family is causing so much drama! I am glad that you stuck up for yourself and deleted the negativity!
ReplyDeleteNew follower from the hop,
Nichole
Hi, I'm a new reader coming from I love my Online friends blog hop. You know, the less drastic measure is to change your privacy settings. Create a list called 'restricted' (for example) and then add your extended family to that list. Then, every time you make a status update that you do not want to share with them, simple exclude them out in your settings! You can go to your main settings and make these changes too, so that they are restricted from seeing most of your status updates, photos etc!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this and 100% agree that family and facebook don't mix. In fact - family & the internet don't mix. I sometimes post links to my blog from my facebook account, which means I get lots of family coming over. Looking back, I wish I would have kept my blog private and limited my family's access to my facebook page. It feels so weird to see an uncle that I haven't talked to in months and have him mention something personal he read on my blog.
ReplyDeleteAnyway - I think you did the right thing by deleting them. You have to do what feels right for you.
Man can I relate. I'm totally pumped for you and your hubby having another baby! Who cares what others think?? I have five boys, but my first two came when my hubby and I lived in a small apartment with very little money. The boys were happy and healthy and so was I! Hang in there!! Visiting you from the blog hop - Susan www.solesearchingmamma.com
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm so sorry to hear your family is acting like that! I have some extended family on Facebook, but I don't have those problems. Chances are some of them a judging me (they are EXTREMELY strict Catholics), but I have yet to hear about it. However, I accepted them as friends knowing this was likely. The stuff that is happening to you is just unfair and wrong.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to delete them there are ways to block them from seeing your posts in their feed. They can still go to your page and read your stuff, but at the very least you'll be less accessible.
Good luck!
Lisa
P.S. Thanks for linking up to the GtKY blog hop! :)