How far is going too far? What do you consider cheating to be?

Would you start thinking your mate was cheating if you found emails and facebook messages that ask another person when are they going to be able to hookup? Is that cheating?

Or is it considered cheating when you catch them in the act? Finding out they physically acted upon that?

Where do you draw the line and when do you react?

Do you find the messages and keep them to yourself until you physically catch them engaging in the act?

Or do you blow up on them about finding the emails before they have time to act?

What would you do and where do you draw the line?

Do you not care if your mate is telling everyone woman on the internet sexual things and really dirty things because he's not acting upon it, or does that make you feel like dirt and depressed?

Speak up and voice what your opinions are on the whole situation! I would really like to know what everyone thinks about this subject.

And have you cheated or been cheated on?


  1. I think "flirting" is ok.....but if it goes to the levels of talking to another person (even online) about getting together to do things, then that's a form of cheating. It's not actual cheating, but it's like the 2nd hand smoke to cheating. you'll still get cancer.i've flirted online with a friend of friend thru FB. I guess you could say I had a cyber crush. This was a month or so ago. I met a guy thru a mutual friend on FB. only chatted online on the public wall. had a mutual connection. and I emailed him. asked him about his pictures....he replied....we went back and forth forth a few times. totally normal conversations. not sexual or flirty.but I felt something. and I just had to put it out there or I would go mad! I really think we both knew there was a I said "before we go any further, I gotta say how adorable you are!" and he said something like, "I totally have a soft spot for sexy red heads with piercing blue eyes. but I can say that without guilt because i'm unattached" and I said, "but if you tell anyone I said that I will totally deny it!" and after a couple laughs and mutual agreements that we were both damn sexy people (in an innocent way) because he knows I'm madly in love with Mike and have a son.he said, "well, now that we both finally realized what damn sexy bitches we are, haha......." (and we moved on)over and done. and that's it. for my situation anyway. I still think he's cute, sure. but after our talk about how we each thought the other attractive, but it wasn't for us...I lost that "crush" feeling. I think it has something to do with us being mature.I think that's one possible factor. maturity level. people just don't know when to stop. another is they are not satisfied in their current relationship. I don't think being unsatisfied means you have the right to go out and cheat. you either fix it with your partner, or you break up. but once you break up, I think that should be that. none of this breaking up - getting back together game.and if people thought of breaking up as a permenant thing, I'm wondering if they would change their behaviors.I think it's totally possible to have a momentary crush and just move on. we're only human after all. but to act on it is another story. and I think that's where people have to learn self control. you gotta stop and think, is this best for my family, for me - or is this just lust? being attracted to a person is one thing. turning that attraction into action is...well, the another....

  2. Thank you for posting your opinion on this matter Jill. A lot of what you said, is something I feel as well

  3. I was cheated on by my ex- we did not have a healthy relationship, but he was a very troubled person and I was pretty much staying with him because I was afraid of what would happen to him if I didn't- and I'd already been through so much for him I thought it would be a waste if I left. Turns out he didn't give to shits about he'd put me through. I'd given him lots of freedom, and trusted him even when it was a bit weird that he was hanging out with his mate's girlfriend so much without me or his mate present. They were both unemployed so stupid me though they were just keeping each other company while his mate and I were earning a living. Yeah- stuuuupid me! After that incident, I'm definitely a lot more suspicious of cheating unfortunately. I had a couple of paranoid moments early in my current relationship, but nothing they were absolutely nothing. If anything ever comes up in the future, I don't have much tolerance for anything. I think lighthearted flirting's okay in person, if there's absolutely no intention of anything further happening. But online/text flirting I wouldn't tolerate. I'd confront it straight away if I discovered something like that. I've never cheated myself.Woo, Sunday night rant! I hope your questions aren't related to a personal concern? :-S

  4. I wrote that so fast that there are a few mistakes, but you get the gist!!

  5. Alice, thank you for sharing your story. Sadly, I have been in your shoes too. Thats why I decided to post these questions. I'm so sorry that you went through it. Its never fun. And sadly, yes, there are a few "personal" things on why I wrote this post.

  6. I think there is a fine line with flirting, being nice to someone can be taken as flirting. But saying sexual things is way over the line and definitely counts as cheating to me. Making plans, even further... not ok, it just means you have been busted. And I would assume it has already happened and that I'm being lied to. The trust would already be broken, why would I believe nothing happened YET...I haven't been cheated on (at least not that I know of but I'm pretty sure) but I definitely have a zero tolerance policy.I hope everything is alright :(XOXO

  7. I've had the same picture saved in my favourite photos for years! I've been with my husband for 16 years, but my first boyfriend definitely cheated on me. He was 3 years older and thought he could seduce me...when he realized I was serious about the no-sex thing, he slept with his ex and then dumped me. Good riddance to bad sh*t.After all this time, I would try to work it out with my husband if he cheated, but ultimately I think it would be unsuccessful. I find it very difficult to really open up and fully trust people, and I don't think I'd be able to move past it. In general, it's an immediate deal-breaker for me. Hope this is just a musing post and not reflective of a difficult situation for you :(

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