June 2014 - xoxo Rebecca

30 Day Water Challenge

So I have decided to take on the challenge of drinking absolutely nothing but water, and only water, for 30 days when I feel thirsty. No other drinks at all. Just plain water. Granted I'm a bit of a water snob and only drink Penta water. 

So who is up for the challenge? For the next 30 days, starting today, when you feel thirsty, grab some water and chug that bad mamma jamma down. I am doing this challenge with no caffeine, no sugar, nothing but pure water. I have actually already kind of cheated and started about 5 days ago. The first three days were rough. I had terrible migraines for those three days straight. But now I feel great.

Most of you know, I have two little ones...19 months old and 5 months old...I'm tired all the time. I don't sleep. I get no rest. So I felt so exhausted...now, after day five with only water and no caffeine/sugar...I feel great! I have more energy too.

But the water challenge is supposed to show a big difference in your face. I am taking a photo today of how I look and then compare it to a photo I will take on the 30th day and see the changes. Dark circles are supposed to disappear, lines are supposed to look finer, skin brighter and less tired looking....I'm excited to see the difference.

So who is in? Wanna do this challenge with me? Two of my friends are already geared up to go. I'm so excited!!!
xoxo Rebecca

Reflecting On Motherhood

I never thought growing up I would become a mother. I never did. I never seemed to be
interested in having children. Just living my life. But when I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter, so many emotions crashed on me. And I knew for the rest of my life, I would be different. There would never be the same "me" that I once was, but an entire new look on life. I was now going to be responsible for someone else. And that scared me.

Once my daughter was born and I met her, I look back now thinking to myself that no matter what happens, I will always be this little girl's mom. For the rest of my life, this little girl and I would be bonded together. Looking down at her tiny little body I was so amazed. And now, seven {almost eight} years later, it's so hard to imagine her being that little tiny baby. She is so grown up in so many ways. I feel the years have zoomed by so fast. I feel like I was never good enough for her. Never nice enough to her. Always saying "no" and feeling selfish.

I look back at her baby photos and and then look at her. She was perfect the minute I met her. And she's still perfect after all these years later. And I still love her more each day. It's funny, I sit here and type this with tears dripping down my face. Looking at her as she is sleeping on the couch because she passed out watching her favorite movie.

Even though she's almost as tall as I am, she will forever be my baby girl. My first child, someone I held in my arms for years and it was always about her. I did everything for her. Now, she wants to start doing everything for herself. Playing with her friends now outside rather than me. Loves to say "No mom, I can do it on my own." I love that she loves to try and be her own person. Some days I miss when I would sit and she would fit in my arms as I rocked her to sleep, holding her bottle and singing to her. She may have outgrown my lap, but she will never outgrow my heart.

Sometimes she says things that make me look back and realize I am either doing the right things, or that I need to do better. But I told her that no matter what she does, no matter what happens, I will love her so much. She has no idea how that love feels inside my heart.

And I sit and cry to myself thinking that maybe I could have been a better mother to her. Maybe I could have done more, given more attention, given more time. I sit and think that I could have been better. I think about how my mom was with us and I want to be that kind of mom to her. The one where we are always doing stuff together or I'm taking her out to the park all the time. I just look back on all the years and still feel like I am not good enough. I'm not the mom I wanted to be. And I didn't give her enough attention or let my selfish needs of wanting some "me" time get in the way.

I want her to look at me like I was an amazing person and mother to her and that she looks back on her childhood thinking we did everything together. No matter what, she will forever be my baby girl. She is my first born, she's so special to me. Even when she doesn't think so, she truly is my whole world.
And then there is my son. Six years after my first daughter, I finally gave birth to a son. A son I almost lost twice. This little boy is so very special to me. You have no idea. While I was pregnant with him in the last trimester, my appendix decided to give out and was about to explode. I needed to undergo emergency surgery to save both his and my life. I was lucky enough the poison didn't get to him and he was able to stay in my belly until he was ready to come out (9 weeks later).

When he was born, I was so over the moon. He was perfect. He was perfect to me anyway. But it started going downhill a day later when he showed signs of something unhealthy. Something abnormal. I was devastated to have to leave him while they sent me home. He needed special tests and observations done overnight to see what may be the problem. I fell with no sleep, calling the hospital every hour that night. I was given high hopes that nothing was really wrong with him. But then the phone call came at 6am the next morning. Something wasn't right. And I was told my little boy. The most precious boy I've ever known....may not live. And if he did, he would only survive for about five days.

Can you imagine hearing that? I broke down immediately. My entire world crashed. I remember like it was yesterday. He had something that they weren't sure of pinpointing over the phone with me. But he needed to go and have emergency surgery. Otherwise, his life would not make it. He would never come home to me. To the home I made for him. I hung up the phone and ran out of the house in my pajamas and hair looking like a hot mess, started up the car, and drove nearly 90 MPH to race to the hospital.

I got there and I saw my two day old baby laying there with tubes all over him. He was moving and looking around. They started to wheel him away and let me walk beside him, holding onto the cart. But I couldn't touch him. The nurses comforted me as I cried so hard and they told me I could say hello to him before they took him to be numbed and put to sleep for his two and a half hour surgery.

It was the longest two hours of my life sitting and waiting for the doctor to talk to me about what happened, how he was, what did they do....so many unanswered questions. But I finally got to have my questions answered. I saw my little baby being wheeled out into the hallway lifeless. He looked like a doll. A very tiny little doll. No movement, just lying there with so many cords covering his little seven pound body from head to toe. I cried and cried and cried. It wouldn't stop.
He had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. I stayed with him by his side. Each day I was hopeful for good news about progress. I was over exhausted, crying all the time, not eating, not sleeping, not thinking...just so worried about this beautiful little guy.

I started to neglect my life at home. My daughter was always asking when she was going to see me for more than a few hours. I cried because of that too. Because she needed me and I wasn't there because her brand new brother needed me more.

And now...after all that...he's the most perfect little boy you could ask for. He's so full of spunk, life, and beautiful. When people told me that boys are special. I never truly understood what that meant. Now I know. There is such a different bond I have with my son, then I do with my daughter. The love is the same. But my little guy holds a different place in my heart. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I almost never got to see him smile, that I almost never got to rock him to sleep, that I almost never knew what he would look like when he grew up. But he is the most special little boy to me and I love him so much.
And then finally there is my last little one. It was a shock when I found out I would be a mommy again for the third time. My baby boy was almost six months old when we found out we were pregnant again.

After such a big age gap between the first two, I never imagined being pregnant again so soon. It scared me. But once this little girl entered my world, I couldn't be more happier to call her my own. She is the sweetest baby. She lights up a room with her constant smiles. She smiles all the time. I think she looks so much like me as a baby. My other two look like my husband. But to me, she is my little mini-me and so I feel a closeness with her through that. We are like one in the same.

She's such a bright and uplifting little girl. Only five months old and has everyone in love with her. I never thought I would be the mother to three children. But I am glad I am. Though some days are rough, I love them so much. I hope she grows up loving life and enjoying our time we are going to spend together.

I feel like I don't want to make any mistakes with her that seemed to slip by me with my first daughter. Though I know it's not too late, I feel like I need to get it right so that I can be the best mommy to these three.

I feel terrible when I get mad for simple things. I guess sometimes, I just don't think about it and am really trying to work on that so I can be a better mom. I don't' know why I get so emotional or upset thinking about this stuff...but I do. And it hits me hard to the point I can't stop crying about it. 

I just want me children to look at me and think that I'm the most wonderful person in their life and they can't live without me and I make them so truly happy. That's all I want. I want to be an incredible mother. Most days, I feel worthless to them. And I don't want to. I want to be amazing.


xoxo Rebecca

THAT FRIDAY BLOG HOP: FEATURED BLOG - NOTES FROM HEIDI


Happy hopping everyone! Thanks for joining us again for That Friday Blog Hop which goes live every Thursday evening at 8pm EST. So join us each week & link up your blogs, social media outlets, or anything you'd love to share. 
   



That Friday Blog Hop: Join Us Every Thursday Evening

While there are no rules, we would love it if you would :::
- Stop by the hosts & co-hosts blog and follow along
- Say hi to new bloggers and leave a wonderful comment
- Grab the button and/or tweet about the blog hop as well
- Come back every Thursday evening to join in the party
- If you are interested in being a co-host for an upcoming week, send an email here
That Friday Blog Hop
xoxo Rebecca

THAT FRIDAY BLOG HOP


Happy hopping everyone! Thanks for joining us again for That Friday Blog Hop which goes live every Thursday evening at 8pm EST. So join us each week & link up your blogs, social media outlets, or anything you'd love to share. 
   


That Friday Blog Hop: Join Us Every Thursday Evening

While there are no rules, we would love it if you would :::
- Stop by the hosts & co-hosts blog and follow along
- Say hi to new bloggers and leave a wonderful comment
- Grab the button and/or tweet about the blog hop as well
- Come back every Thursday evening to join in the party
- If you are interested in being a co-host for an upcoming week, send an email here
That Friday Blog Hop
xoxo Rebecca

Nail Polish Exchange Link-Up Reveal

For those of you who participated in the second round of this nail polish exchange, I wanted to say a big thank you! I hope everyone had fun and got some really great colors and new looks in the mail. I also wanted to thank my other two hosts, Shary and Jennifer for stepping in and helping out. Big hugs to our both!
As stated in the guidelines, I promised a link up to share and show off everyone's new colors. So that is what this post is all about. At the bottom, you will find where you can link up your nail polish exchange packages you received from your partner. So make those posts and share them with us!!! Also, if you want to share your photos on Instagram, just use #SpilledPolishSwap in your description so we can all find it as well.

Now, onto the reveal, shall we?
I was teamed up with Stephanie from Just A Little Bit Louder. Stephanie and I seemed to have a lot in common when it came to our taste in polish brands and colors. That was great. It was like we were color soul mates LOL. True! So I was so excited to send my package off to her way and I was really excited to see a package from her arrive in my mailbox. I just couldn't wait to open it. I was not disappointed. She sure spoiled me completely!


Let me start off by saying that the packaging was really cute. I loved the cellophane bags. Seemed to be just full of happiness and I knew whatever was inside, would bring a smile to my face. But before I opened them just yet, I read the lovely card inside the envelope. Then I proceeded to rip open to the goodies :)


I was not expecting so many polishes but it was really awesome to see them all there. I couldn't wait to try them out. I had told her how I loved pink, sparkly things, pastel colors, textures....I told you, I was not disappointed! In fact, I was over the moon with this package.

So my oldest daughter {7 years old} and I had fun grabbing right into the colors and started to test them on our nails and play around with them. I have to say that my photos don't do the colors justice. The lighting is just terrible unfortunately so I couldn't get the true color on some of them. But they look really beautiful in person. So I swatched a different color on each finger.

So for the last photo, I decided to place the OPI on my pinky. The stars are such a fun little accent that is in this bottle. They really pop on the white polish. So then I decided to change up my fingers and do the rest that I originally had on my thumb in the very first photo shown with the Sally Hansen Triple Shine. And this was the results:

So I am really loving the colors and thank you so much again Stephanie for all of them. I can't wait to use the rest in a full mani. Which I will be doing very soon cause a girl can't ever wear too much nail polish. Am I right? LOL

Now that I've shown you my goodies, it's time to link up yours. So if you participated in the swap, please link below. I can't wait to see what everyone else received! You can also grab the button to if you'd like.

Don't Cry Over Spilled Polish Exchange
xoxo Rebecca

THAT FRIDAY BLOG HOP


Happy hopping everyone! Thanks for joining us again for That Friday Blog Hop which goes live every Thursday evening at 8pm EST. So join us each week & link up your blogs, social media outlets, or anything you'd love to share. 
   


That Friday Blog Hop: Join Us Every Thursday Evening

While there are no rules, we would love it if you would :::
- Stop by the hosts & co-hosts blog and follow along
- Say hi to new bloggers and leave a wonderful comment
- Grab the button and/or tweet about the blog hop as well
- Come back every Thursday evening to join in the party
- If you are interested in being a co-host for an upcoming week, send an email here
That Friday Blog Hop
xoxo Rebecca

Five Months Old

I haven't been able to brag and share all about little Miss Larissa's monthly stats as I did with my son. Time slips by my and I've been so exhausted to keep up with blogging a lot lately and I hate that. I loved being able to write a post every day and share it. Maybe as the babies grow older, it will get easier.

Saturday Larissa turned 5 months old. Can you believe that? She's growing so wonderful. She's a sweet baby. Full of life, smiles non-stop and loves hugs. She also loves to let you know she wants to be held 24/7. She sure loves to cry a lot too when she doesn't get her way :) But that's what babies do right?

She still rarely sleeps. Maybe a couple of hours a night. She sleeps for about 20 mins and then up for three hours then back down again for another 20 mins. This goes for naps too. Her and Reg are on opposite schedules still so I'm always up with the both of them still all day and all night. My body is getting more sued to it though. Some days, it's harder and I feel so exhausted and others, I'm pretty good to go the entire day.


Larissa loves attention and she is now rolling all over the place. She rolls everywhere you put her down and goes all over the floor. Just rolls and rolls to get to where she wants to go. It's pretty funny. She also holds her head up amazing. So strong and healthy.

She babbles non stop as well. Always wants to tell you what's on her mind. She always has a finger in her mouth as well. She chews on her finger all the time. She's teething and it shows. She's not a thumb sucker or anything. Just likes to chew her finger. It's hard to get a photo of her without it being in her mouth.

She is still being breastfed. We are still able to keep going with that. And it makes me so happy. I'm so proud of myself for being able to keep a milk supply with her. I never have been able to with my other children. So this makes me feel so happy. Though, it's not always enough, I do supplement when I have to. But I nurse her 75% of the time.
xoxo Rebecca