To Change Or Not To Change - xoxo Rebecca

To Change Or Not To Change

I've wondered this for a while. How many people actually change their name after they get married? Did you? Or did you keep your old last name or did your husband agree to to change his? There are so many options. And I have known people who have done them all.

Growing up, I always assumed when you got married, you changed your name {the girl anyways} I actually thought this was a rule. Boy, was I wrong once I got older and my friends started getting married. I noticed that it wasn't the norm anymore to change your last name to your husband's. Nothing at all wrong with that. I just never heard of anyone doing that til I got older.

When I got married, I went and changed my name literally that week. Part of me was sad to let go of a name I had been known as my entire life. But I was more excited of the change and the beginning that it felt like. A new start and a new life now married. Plus, my old last name was a bit more on the "uncommon" side and I had to deal with the constant everyday battles of correcting people on pronouncing it or spelling it right. So I was eager to change my last name to my husband's where I now have no issues with anyone getting it wrong. It's a lot more simple than my maiden name was.

I put together my own Name Change Kit instead of buying one. It made it really easy to change it honestly. People I knew were telling me horror stories of how difficult and long and drawn out the entire process was and most of the people telling me said it was the very reason they were not changing their last name.

But I must admit, I found everyone's advice wrong. It was pretty simple and fast to change everything from my past to my new last name. I just sent in the copy of the marriage license to all my bills and it was switched  just like that. The only real "hassle" I found was the four hour wait at the Social Security office to get a new card. But other then that, everything was easy.

It's funny how fifty years ago, all women changed their name once they got married. It was the norm. Now, I feel as though I am the odd man out of my friends. I think I am the only one out of the people I have talked to the most around here that changed their name. And have been married the least amount of years as well.

Two people in-particular said they would never let a man feel like they "own" them and in that case, they kept their maiden name after being married. One of them actually put me down so much for changing my name, I stopped talking to them all together. They said that when you change your name, you give your man all your power and lose who you are. Do you agree? I don't. I still am the same person. The other one also said that she wouldn't change her last name in case they ever got divorced, she didn't want to have to go through the process of changing it back.

These two people also just recently had babies {been married for a few years now} and have both fought over who's last name the baby should have. I see nothing wrong with a child taking the mother's name but I don't think it's fair to fight over who's last name the baby should have. I know one of them decided that the first born gets the mother's last name and the second gets the fathers to make it fair. The other girl said she gave in and let the baby have her husband's last name but hates herself every time she has to use her daughter's full name to anyone. 

Then I know someone else who had a mutual agreement with their husband. They both wanted to keep their last name so instead of her hyphenating her maiden name to her husband's last name, he agreed to change his as well and they both have them hyphened together as well as their children.

They are the only couple I have known to both change their last names to form a new one together. And it works. Nothing wrong with that. It's just not that common. But it worked out perfect. Both of them seemed to be happy with the decision.

So how do you feel about name changing? I think whether you decide to keep your last name, change your last name, or simply come to an agreement where you both change your all works as long as you are happy. I changed my last name once I got married.....but I'm curious as to your thoughts on the whole "name change" idea.

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