June 2012 - xoxo Rebecca

twenty weeks

I have to apologize for being so absent from blogging this week, facebook, and twitter. This week was a very hard and emotional week for me. I don't want to get into too many personal details but somethings happened and stuff came out and it looked as though we were going to be going through the process of a  divorce. Anyone that has been hurt so bad in a situation from the person they love would understand. It's so emotionally draining and just a huge mess full of fighting, nasty words and just scary.
So it has been just very hard for me to be social while this was all going on this week. We are trying to work things out to stay together because the bottom line is, we are both very much in love with each other but growing apart and I didn't realize just how unhappy he was in the situation. But I'm glad we are willing to try one more time. If it doesn't work out this time, we both agreed it was best to go our seperate ways though it would be one of the hardest things I would have to do in my life.
So things are slowly patching up and trying hard to make this work. Marriage is not easy. Anyone that claims it is is a liar for sure.

Ok, anyway, onto the real topic of this post..............

We are officially at the twenty week mark in this pregnancy. Yea! Half way through and excited about that. This pregnancy still feels as if it going slow. My next appointment is in three weeks. I'm sure it will be a quick one. Nothing special or exciting I think will be happening. But if it does, I'll let you know.
So here's whats going on this week:

So as you saw above, this week has been very emotional for me. I didn't eat for a few days and stressed out so much...not to mention the endless crying. Which I know is not good at all for anyone. So I lost a few pounds but the last couple of days has been better and I've been eating again and gaining my appetite so I gained back the weight I lost.

I'm now officially at a fourteen pound weight gain which kind of scares me but the nurse said I'm doing good with my weight so I guess no need to worry there. That is from week one til now. I also still am not getting very much sleep at all. I thought pregnant women were so exhausted all they want to do is sleep and sleep long and hard. Why is then my body has only allowed two hours every night since I got pregnant? Stupid brain not wanting me to sleep I guess.

I have to tell you, all the things they say pregnancy does to a person as far as side effects have been 100% opposite for me. I do not get back pains, no heart burn, skin cleared up, poop more then I ever have before {in any case that is TMI but true}, no leg cramps. The only symptoms I have gotten are the nausea, the headaches, the exhaustion, and the dizziness.

So here is my photo for this week:

So I guess that's about it for now. Hopefully next week goes a whole lot better then this week. Here are some funny pregnancy things I found. Enjoy!

That Friday Blog Hop {50}

So yea! The week is almost over and the weekend is almost here. You know what that means! That Friday Blog Hop is up and running.

There are no rules. Rules are made to be broken anyway right? So what’s the point of posting any. Link up any and all your social networking.

So let another Friday come and hopefully get a bunch of blogs and other sites linked on here

That Friday Blog Hop

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My co-host this week is Ricki from Rouge Baby. Not only is she my co-host this week but one of my sponsors as well. Her blog is completely cute and it is so worth checking out. So click on her button below and head over that way!

So link up all your social networks and have a wonderful Friday and weekend!

nineteen weeks

Woo-hoo nineteen weeks today! One more week and we are at the halfway mark. Awesome! I said it before and I'll say it again, this pregnancy seems to be going by really slow!!!! Really slow. I mean slow slow. I'm really hoping it starts to speed up a bit. I kind of feel like I've been pregnant forever however, since we've been trying to have another baby for three years, I'm also totally excited about the pregnancy.

Here's what is going on this week:

Here is belly picture for the week:

I feel like I look smaller in the photo from last week but I surely have felt more huge to me. I feel like a beach whale at this point. I have now gained a total of ten pounds which isn't bad. I wish it were less but that's ok. Still doing great the doctor said on weight gain. If I continue the pace I'm at, I will be at 21 pounds total for the entire pregnancy and I'm only supposed to gain no more then 25 pounds so I'm crossing my fingers I stay in the good weight gain zone and don't go over.

Well, this week was a lot of different things going on baby wise. WE HAD THE GENDER ULTRASOUND! How exciting huh? Here are the photos of our little one at 18weeks and 5days along

Notice how there is only the upper body shown? That's because I refused to find out the gender and only requested to view the baby from the waist up. So we got the photos of just that. This baby is very inactive...though it is still very healthy. It just likes to lounge around. Hardly any movement. It was shifting it's head back and forth a lot and moving it's arms.

So I want people to guess what the gender will be. I have my guess in now I want yours!

Make A Guess-Which Gender Do You Think?

pollcode.com free polls 

The cutest thing was when the tech first put the machine down on my stomach, the baby had it's hand pressed against my tummy so we got to see the palm of it's hand and it made a "waving at us" motion. It was too cool. I wish we could have caught a photo of that but didn't. That's ok though.

My daughter went with me and she was so curious (being five years old) of everything going on and asking everything the tech was doing. And she was a smart one too. It was funny. There was a point where the tech was measuring the baby's head and then the spine and I had this conversation with my daughter as head was being measured:

Me: So what do you think it is?
My daughter: Uh, you can't see that's the baby's head?
Me: *laughing* I meant what do you think it's going to be?
My daughter: *tech measuring the spine right now* Mommy, that's a tummy. I see it. you don't see that's a tummy?

Me and the the tech were laughing because obviously I was asking about the gender of the baby to her and she was quick with those answers to out-smart me. She said exactly what she saw. That girl is too smart for her age I tell ya. It made for a funny visit to say the least. The baby measured in at 8oz which is still right on target with everything. I was told I had what they call a "Placenta Pillow". I never heard of it before and thought the worst. But she said it's nothing to worry about. It just means there was an extra growth between the baby and the uterus and so it cushions the baby even more. So I may have a hard time feeling the baby kick or move.

I was told by the doctor that would probably start feeling the baby move around week 22. However, now with this, I may not start feeling any movement until around week 30. And when I do, it will be very light. So I'm not worried about that. My daughter used to kick me so hard when I was pregnant with her that I can stand not feeling any kicks this time around.

I had a meeting with the doctor afterward and he said everything in the ultrasounds are looking fantastic and everything is going great with the baby. No need for any worries. The heartbeat was measuring at 151 beats per minute and so it has been pretty smooth sailing.

This week too was my follow up appointment for the cancer they found that returned. I posted not too long ago the story about when I had cancer and was now testing positive for it again and so I had to go back and have testing done to see how far it has progressed. Good news! The cancer cells are not visible and the hormones from the pregnancy triggered them back up again but it's a false alarm. The tests they did to me were tests he could tell me right away what they found. Everything looked no need for concern. Such a relief. Now I don't have to worry about pregnancy and cancer.

Told you it's been a crazy week for me. So until next week's update I guess this is it for now. Next week is that magical 20 weeks. Yea!

Wordless Wednesday - Fortune

Wordless Wednesday
<div align="center"><a href="http://to-calm-insanity.blogspot.com" title="Wordless Wednesday"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v324/satinxoxo/blog%20buttons/wordlesswed.jpg" alt="Wordless Wednesday" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

I grabbed some lunch after my doctor's appointment yesterday and I love fortune cookies. So of course, I couldn't wait to open it. And when I did, I saw this message staring back at me:

And I thought to myself....Cookie, I sure will take your advice and take action today. I will carry out my plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! * as the Pinky & the Brain theme song sung in my head*

So grab the button and link up your Wordless Wednesday photos as well!

She Tied Her Own Shoes

I'm so proud of my little girl tonight. She learned how to tie her own shoes and was so excited about it. All she wanted to do was keep giving me high-fives and tie it over and over again.
Tying your shoes is hard when you are little. Especially if you are like my daughter who gets super frustrated very easily. After a long while of going back and forth trying to help her, she finally did it on her own. So of course, I couldn't be nothing more then a proud mommy!

eighteen weeks

I am eighteen weeks {well technically 18.5 but that's ok} as of this week. My week's begin on Thursday so this is still in the week for me.
I still seem to be at the same weight as last week of a total of nine pounds gained. This week I got off the better food habit and had a bit more junk then I have had in the past. That's not good. I need to get back on healthy foods and water this week. 
But I have my two doctor's appointments this week. I have my scary one tomorrow which I ma not looking forward to at all. However, the only nice thing about it is I only have to work a half day tomorrow and then get to leave by 12:30pm so it will be a short day at least so I can get to the doctor.
And then Tuesday is the gender ultrasound. I really still am not anxious at all to know the sex of the baby. So strange since I'm normally that type of person that has to know everything and anything for preparation. But we are fine with not knowing. I'm just going to close my eyes when the technician starts exploring down there so I don't ruin the surprise for myself later. At least next post on this, I'll have ultrasound photos to share with you all! That will be exciting.

So here is what is going on this week with baby bean..........btw, the image below is supposed to be a sweet potato but looks more like something else strange to me.

Here's baby bean belly at 18 weeks....almost to the halfway mark now!

Am I looking like a pregnant woman yet? I sure feel like it. Belly is really wide out there.

I also saw this on a friend's Facebook page a while ago and thought it to be interesting. It is a map of maternity leave in other countries compared to the US. Shows you just how much they really care about mothers in this country. However, my job is willing to pay five weeks at 70% pay so I guess that is better then nothing. When I was pregnant with my daughter, the job I had didn't offer any maternity leave or benefits. So I guess five weeks off and 70% of my pay is better then what I had the first time around. Still sucks though. Take a look at the chart:

That Friday Blog Hop {49}

So yea! The week is almost over and the weekend is almost here. You know what that means! That Friday Blog Hop is up and running.

There are no rules. Rules are made to be broken anyway right? So what’s the point of posting any. Link up any and all your social networking.

So let another Friday come and hopefully get a bunch of blogs and other sites linked on here

That Friday Blog Hop

<div align="center"><a href="http://to-calm-insanity.blogspot.com/" title="That Friday Blog Hop"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v324/satinxoxo/blog%20buttons/thatfridaybloghop-1.jpg" alt="That Friday Blog Hop" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

I don't have a guest blogger this week. If you would like to be a guest blogger and co-host this hop next Friday, please email me at: ITS.JUST.REBECCA@GMAIL.COM

So link up all your social networks and have a wonderful Friday and weekend!

Also linking up with Christa at Young & Restless for her Friday blog hop as well.

young and restless

Blog Star: Hi I'm Rebecca

So I'm going to jump on the bandwagon with this {as most of the others bloggers I know have} and link up with Mrs. Monologues for her Blog Star event going on now.

Hi, I'm Rebecca and this is my blog. I never thought I would get this involved in blogging and my blog has changed names over the course of it's {almost} two years running. Not to mention the countless design changes I have made as well.

My blog's title is "Let Them Eat Cake". However, don't let that name fool you. I am actually not a fan of cake at all and pretty much will not touch the stuff. My blog title is from my Marie Antoinette obsession. She is the inspiration behind many things and ideas I come up with. It was only appropriate that I use her as my blog's inspiration as well. {Even though she is known for the saying, she never actually said it} So here are some fun facts about me to prove I'm a Blog Star! {you probably already know them, but that just means you love me lots}

I know I'm a day late but that's ok :) I'm sure I'm forgiven on that one

Wordless Wednesday - Storms

Wordless Wednesday
<div align="center"><a href="http://to-calm-insanity.blogspot.com" title="Wordless Wednesday"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v324/satinxoxo/blog%20buttons/wordlesswed.jpg" alt="Wordless Wednesday" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

I took this photo a couple of weeks ago when Tropical Storm Beryl was hitting us along the East Coast. Didn't do really anything where I live except lots of rain and wind too. But mostly rain. We were out at the pool when the storm started rolling in and I captured this photo on my iPhone. Think it really shows the mood of the beginning of a long weekend full of storms.

So grab the button and link up your Wordless Wednesday photos as well!

Second Time Around

So for those of you who saw my Facebook post earlier today, you know it wasn't a happy one. I didn't say much nor wanted to really discuss it at the time. But I did say I would blog about it when I got a minute. So here is the back story of it.

Since I've never talked about it on here no one would know unless you are a very old friend reading this and knew about my life years ago and things that happened. Ten years ago when I was 20 years old and an incoming sophomore in college, I found out I was diagnosed with cancer. Luckily, it wasn't life threatening and of course, could not be cured, but treated for the time being.

I went for the routine appointments for testing and samples being taken right and left. Every time they thought they removed it, it would return again and stronger then the last time around. So it eventually became to the point where I had two options. To try having a surgical procedure done where they remove more then just the cells. They remove part of the body part it affected as well or to go the extent and have everything removed.

I said I would try the partial removal and go in for that. The surgery took two hours and luckily, wasn't painful during recovery for the most part. I had an amazing doctor and he was able to do everything with lasers. However, that didn't mean it was always fine. Every time I went to an appointment, I cried so bad and it was never easy. They were always painful removing samples and cultures and things.

So after it was all over, I was still not safe. There was always a chance it could come back. However, for the last ten years my body has seemed to remain cancer-free. I have always been scared every time I go get tested the tests will show it. I have been happy and now worry-free that everything has seemed to go ok.

Until now.......I got a phone call from the doctor's office today saying the cancer cells have shown up on my test I had at my 15 week appointment. My heart sank and I felt empty. I was at work when I got the call so it sucked crying at work and having to hide and find places to avoid people to get my self together again.

I was like, "really? why now? why when I'm pregnant?" I was lucky it never affected my first pregnancy but I had it prior to being pregnant so everything had time to heal. Now I'm pregnant and it's back. I have to go in next Monday for the dreaded tests they did the first time where they freeze and burn off parts of the organ to get more samples. I just remember the first time doing this screaming and crying so bad.

I really hope maybe technology has advanced to where it may be different or less painful. It's not like I can get on medication nor have surgery because of the pregnancy to remove it. The bad part is, we don't know how developed the cancer is at the moment until I go for the testing. The waiting period will suck. I hope it doesn't take long, but then again I don't want to know...I hate this.

So yea, that's what I was talking about in my status earlier. I would have loved for them to tell me something like I have high blood pressure or I'm too over weight.... those are fixes I can deal with. But the cancer thing again sucks really bad. I basically have no immune system. So this doesn't help. My body doesn't fight infection like most people. I get sick so much easier and longer then most and the cancer developed too fast last time because my body wasn't fighting it fast enough to keep the progression slow.

That's what I am worried about with this. That it's going to spread too fast too soon and drastic measures will be taken. I don't want to even think about having to choose between my life and the baby's...though I highly doubt that is something I need to be even thinking about because I don't think it would get that far.

Also being pregnant, I don't want anything to spread to the baby. I don't want to be hospitalized or having this affect my life at all. I need it to stay controlled. At least until the baby is born. Then I can go from there. I had so many thoughts going through my head earlier when they called me with the bad news. Just sucks, you know? But I talked to my husband and then to my mom over the phone and I'm doing much better now. I'm over the initial shock and just have to go in and have it done regardless the pain. So I'm taking a half day off of work that day to do it and then the funny thing is, I go in the next morning for my ultrasound. So one extreme to the next. A scary and sad doctor visit to a really happy one. That's not good for a crazy emotional pregnant woman.

So anyway, now you know something about me that you didn't before. Anyway, I will keep you updated when I find out more...it may not be for a few weeks because once the testing is done, I don't know how long it will take to get back to me. So we shall wait and see...unfortunately....

To Bee Or Not To Bee Inspired

Some inspiration I have found. I know there is so much more. Love looking at these things. I know pinterest has go tot have some as well...just haven't gone there yet to venture on ideas. I just think the bumble bee theme is really cute. And of course, great cause it's non-gender specific. Anyone have done or know someone that has a bumble bee themed party? I'm still wondering about whether to do a cake or cupcakes....hmmm oh the choices...
I love the whole "Mommy To Bee" or "What Will It Bee?" thing. I also love the idea of a candy bar as well. Nothing big, just something cute though. We shall see.....

seventeen weeks

So as of today, I am seventeen and a half weeks pregnant. And really feel like it. The growing pains have really kicked in. The crampy feeling from that is sometimes a bit more uncomfortable then I can handle at times. Luckily, it doesn't last long when they start.
I have my next doctor's appointment on the 19th which will be also another ultrasound. Actually, the big ultrasound. I'm wanting my husband and daughter to come with me. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get him to go again but it's always fun seeing the baby. And then they can write down for us the gender so I can give it to the baker for the surprise.
My mom and all my friends want me to give them the paper as well with the gender on it. At first, I told them I would but now I'm not so sure I want to. Whats the point of a surprise if everyone already know? So I think I am just going to tell them sorry. I want it to be a surprise for everyone. The only person I will give it to is my mom and the baker. All my friends I'm just going to have them wait like I have to.
I just think I don't want to be the only one left int he dark about it. Plus what if someone accidentally slips up and says "he or she"? Plus I just want to have everyone surprised. It won't be as exciting if everyone already attending knows, ya know? So I think I have decided to turn down their offer and not let them know.

So like I said the new things that has been happening is the growing pains which can be a bit painful but mostly annoying and uncomfortable. The other thing is my weight has been going up and down a lot this week. I seem to have gained a few more pounds putting me at nine pounds total and then it dropped back down to six pounds. So I am not sure exactly where I am.....if I go weigh myself at this exact moment, I would hate it if jumped back up again...let's see....

............................................................................on the scale...................................................................

So yea, it says nine pounds. So I guess for this week, we shall have to put that down as the added weight. Also new this week, my friend has offered to help me plan a baby shower. So that is nice. I spent all last night looking up venues to have it at and had zero luck unfortunately. So that stunk.
Also, I had the shower planned for Labor Day weekend {Sept 2} and then my mom called me last week and said that she would like to attend my shower because she has been left out of every major event that has happened. She never was able to be there for my first baby shower, never could be there for all my wedding planning, and so this would make her feel like she was a part of something.
I hate that my parents live so far away that they can never attend or help with anything. And they always want to. Just can never get the time off of work or be able to travel.
So I really want my mom to be there. But the only thing is, she can't get any vacation time off work until the end of October {when my daughter's birthday party is}. So after being very nervous about having a shower only three weeks from the baby's due date {because my daughter came two weeks early} and just feeling so unprepared.....I decided to clam down and decide that if it means that much to her, is it really that big of a deal to have it so close to the due date?

So I have started planning to have my daughter's birthday party on Saturday and then the baby shower on Sunday. It will make for a very busy weekend. Extremely busy but nothing would make me happier then having my mom there with me. And if something were to happen where the baby came before they left, that would be fine with me. I would need that. But I think it would probably come the week after they leave. Go figure right?

Anyone else have a shower so close to the baby being born? Most people I know who are due in November like me are having their showers next month. I feel that is too early... but that's just me. So that's all the thoughts I guess on my mind for this week!

June Sponsors

Here are all my wonderful sponsors. Last month was so busy I slacked a lot so I wanted to get this out early this month. Take some time to stop by and say hi to them. They are all wonderful bloggers and I enjoy their support!



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