When Play Dates Go Wrong


Oh yes, not all play dates are glitz & glamour. I should know...I've had plenty of them. And the funny thing is, it's not because of the children being little heathens either. It's because of the parents. Yes, the parents make or break a play date it seems like in my situation.

I really enjoy having play dates. I love getting the kids out of the house because it's better since my husband has to sleep all day to work at night. So this way, less noise is made at home when we can be out as much as possible. And it's so much more fun with a friend. Don't you agree?

But what happens when you are excited to meet up with friends and the kids are excited to play, only to find out that it doesn't go as planned? Well, it sucks. Yes, just plain sucks. And it's happened quite a bit. And I'm not a fan.

I've had some where the other mom wouldn't get off her phone from texting for more then 30 seconds to even engage in any conversation at all with me. And when I did speak, she didn't hear me cause she was so busy texting her other friend. She invited me over for the play date but it ended up me just sitting there watching her text for a few hours with minimal conversation. 

I've also had some where I was invited to go out for a play date only to have the mom tell me as soon as I got there that she decided to leave. She was bored and just felt like going home. Mind you, it took me over 30 minutes to drive to her and I was upset that we met up at the agreed time but she wanted to bail. But it was ok.

I had one where I was told to meet up for a play date with a friend and her daughter at a specific time. I got there. i sat and waited and waited....and waited some more. Almost four hours there waiting and she never showed. She never contacted me saying anything changed. I finally left. I got home and hours later got a message from her saying sorry, she just decided not to go and went somewhere else. I guess it would have been nice to have let me know when she had changed her mind. That way I wouldn't have sat all day looking out for her to walk by. Plus, it disappointed my daughter really bad thinking she was going to have someone to play with.

And then there was this one...

Was invited to take the kids and hang out at the pool. It was my first time taking all three children by myself and I was a bit nervous. I mean, who wouldn't be? I had no idea how I was going to handle trying to watch my seven year old wanting to go off with her friends, while my one year old was just waiting for the moment for me to turn around so he could run away and think it was funny. And then the baby couldn't be put down. She had to be held the entire time.

Where was I supposed to put her anyway? I was suggested just put the two little ones in the stroller strapped down so I could go off and enjoy a dip in the pool.

ummm....I don't know about you, but that really just threw a curve ball at me for a minute. It was suggested because my play date mommy did not want her one year old in the baby pool because she wanted to stay in the big pool. When I said I couldn't bring both of them in the big pool because I know how my kids would try to escape my arms and the baby pool was perfect, I was told to just strap them down in the stroller and come over to the big area for a while to hang out with her.

First of all, if I were to do that, I think I would have been kicked out. Not only from all the screaming my son would be doing to try and wiggle his way out of the stroller, but also because it was like 100 degrees outside even in the shade and the babies needed to water to be cooled off in.

Second, I don't think I could even just leave my kids in a stroller with no supervision around in a pretty big public place. I would have lots of fear someone would snatch them right up and walk out while I was doing flips off the diving board.

My friend actually seemed upset by me. She kept saying just put them in the stroller and come over to her in the water. I finally got to the point I just ignored her and tried my best to play with my babies and have a good time. We actually never even spoke for more then 5 mins there and we were there for three hours. I wondered why I even agreed to meet up for a play date when we had no interaction at all. Not between us nor our children. It was just basically as if we both ended up going to the same place at the same time and happened to see each other, waved hi and that was that.

I understand that she felt she wanted to play with her child in the adult pool and that was fine. But when I had to little ones to keep watch over that I barely could let go of and then a third who doesn't swim every well so she needs lots of supervision, I couldn't just ditch my kids to go hang out with her. I thought she understood prior that I had made it clear that I was not able to leave the baby pool and I just assumed she would be in the baby pool as well since her baby was as old as my son.

So all and all I was disappointed. I guess I felt the entire point of a play date was so that we could hang out while enjoying the company of the kids as well. Not to just feel like I was being shrugged off because I had to deal with my children.

Maybe I am over reacting. Maybe I just am taking it more then it should be. Maybe it just wasn't that big of a deal. But to me, hauling three kids out of the house with two diaper bags filled with stuff is just not only time consuming, but a huge chore as well.

What I can say is that being at the pool with them wasn't as horrible as I thought. The babies did act up a bit and got fussy at times, but it wasn't the nightmare I thought it was going to be. And my daughter enjoyed going.

So I'm wondering if I have a play date curse. I haven't had all bad play dates now. There have been some where they were very enjoyable with friends. But it seems I tend to get more bad then good when it comes to these.

It's probably not as bad as I feel like it is, but it kind of hurts, you know? Putting in effort, getting excited and then kind of just getting dumped. But I'm not going to let a few bum me out. I'll continue to try and make the best of them. Sure, I may be complaining and some probably are sitting here scratching their heads thinking I'm just over reacting. But it's ok. I just feel a play date can be a very special and really fun time. I guess I'm totally lame like that but I hate when I feel bailed on when taking part in them.

THAT FRIDAY BLOG HOP


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The Blogmopolitan Quiz

I can't tell you how excited I was to see that Erin from Two Thirds Hazel brought back The Blogmopolitan Quiz! I love this thing. I participated in it, I believe the first go-round. Now it's back again. So I couldn't help but jump in on the fun. If you haven't done so, head over to her blog and download the quiz for yourself to post.

So let's begin, shall we?

THAT FRIDAY BLOG HOP


Happy hopping everyone! Thanks for joining us again for That Friday Blog Hop which goes live every Thursday evening at 8pm EST. So join us each week & link up your blogs, social media outlets, or anything you'd love to share. 
   


That Friday Blog Hop: Join Us Every Thursday Evening

While there are no rules, we would love it if you would :::
- Stop by the hosts & co-hosts blog and follow along
- Say hi to new bloggers and leave a wonderful comment
- Grab the button and/or tweet about the blog hop as well
- Come back every Thursday evening to join in the party
- If you are interested in being a co-host for an upcoming week, send an email here
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So What's This Homeschool Thing All About?

Since my daughter was in pre-school, the idea of homeschooling was always thrown up in the air. My husband has been pushing the idea a lot more than I have. I never had an issue with public school. Yes, you get some bullies, or the nasty preppy girls who think they are better than everyone else. You get the outcasts, the jocks, the nerds, the average joes....school has it all.

I grew up going to public school my entire life. I had my shares of ups and downs with it. I had some good years and so years I wish I could take back and redo over again. But all and all I was perfectly happy with the idea of public school for my children. Until my child actually went to public school.

I guess back when I was growing up, school was a bit different. Well, for starters, I grew up on a military base until I went to Jr High. So living my entire childhood on a base, schools were safer in a sense. We didn't hear about school shootings and crazy people lurking around the school yards. No perverts were ever a threat and we could walk to and from school at a young age unassisted.

It also seemed that we were taught things that made sense and were done in the simplest and fastest way possible to reach the correct answer without having to spend countless minutes figuring it out. I remember school being really easy for me and I liked it. The only subject I hated was math. Math was not my friend at all. We didn't life each other LOL.

But now, after sending my own daughter off to her first day of kindergarten, I realized school had changed. Now, we were being sent emails and phone calls and letters about possible threats in the area of the school. Phone calls were made saying the school was on lock down because of a nearby shooting in the neighborhood. Or that a man was sitting in his car outside the playground with no clothes on showing the little girls his body parts.

These things are so scary for a parent new to sending their child off to school for the first time. This was an eye opener that school just wasn't the way I remembered it being. And homeschooling felt like it should be talked about more in our family. Because for one reason, concern for safety. I know you cannot protect your child from everything, but sometimes, I sit and think about how maybe something could happen while she was at school and I couldn't be there to do anything about it or save her.

But another reason was after I started seeing the homework being sent home, I thought things were a bit off. The way the kids were learning things was so much more difficult than I remember learning them. But because it was kindergarten, I decided it couldn't be so bad and maybe it was just the teacher being harder on the kids and trying to see how advanced they could be.

Now that she moved on to first grade, I noticed her homework became more and more difficult. I started getting frustrated that it would take me a good 20 mins to figure out some of her homework lessons and I still couldn't understand what the crap she was supposed to do or what the answer was supposed to be. And that made me mad. I think I'm a pretty smart person {I got almost all straight A's in school...except for math} and I knew I should be able to help my first grader on some simple homework.

So after the school year ended, we decided that we are going to try homeschool. Not because we want our daughter to have an "easy" answer because that it not it. But because we are just not liking what the core curriculum seems to be offering. It made me sad to hear that some of the mothers I talk to in my daughter's class said they are requesting their children be held back in first grade again next year. They said that first grade just confused them too much and they are not comfortable with sending their child on until they feel the child can understand this new way of learning and doing things.

I didn't feel that was right. That's not how it should be. But it is. So we decided that this coming year, we would like to try and homeschool. There are a lot of reasons why we are going to go for the homeschool deal this time around. I like to try all options. A lot of the things mentioned above are all true, yet not all completely the reason. I just want to see as well if this is what would be better for our family. And I'm terrified!

Yes, I am terrified to start homeschool and yet, I'm also not. I have so many mixed feeling about it. Since I never thought we would homeschool, even though it's been something thrown up in the air for a while, I keep wondering if I'm good enough to teach her. Will she learn enough from me? Am I going to be able to be patient like her last teacher? What the heck am I supposed to teach her? Where do I start? How am I going to be able to handle focusing on her with two other little ones crying and needing attention non-stop all day?

I have so many questions. We have chosen a curriculum so at least we have that to start looking into. I figured we would probably do about 4-5 hours a day of school. That should cover almost a day of public school scheduling. Most of me friends who homeschool say they never go over an hour a day. I was told one hour is probably the most to go. Two hours would be pushing it. But I don't think that would work for us. I'm glad t does work for those who suggested it, but I think I need more like the above 4-5 hours to cover things I would like to do and go over. So that is where we would start.

My biggest concern is being her teacher, trying to give her full attention with the two babies needing me so much. That is a big issue that I have to figure out how to juggle them all at the same time with that. But I'm sure I can figure it out and deal with some sort of  schedule. 

So for all those homeschooling moms {and dads} out there....how do you do it? Do you have a schedule set so that your little ones don't interfere with lessons? I'm looking to take in all the advice I can get. And hopefully, we will have a very successful school year coming up.